Just in the mood to say hi to everyone. Especially to those I don’t know personally and to those who know about my books. I hope everyone’s all right wherever you are, whatever you may be doing, and whoever it is your with… or without. Keep on drawing and tell your stories, people. Or better yet… live them. :)
The sun rises. At dawn. In Manila. Where a new day begins. Today. In the Philippines. A country. Where our story will take place. Where something is about to happen. Where a man waits in silence.
A man we all know as SUPERMAN. And he’s hungry. “I’m hungry”, he says. I think I should get something to eat. Like a cheesecake. “I WANT A CHEESECAKE”, Superface thinks to himself. But his thoughts are soooo strong that a mushroom cloud containing his thoughts about cheesecake and what-not forms over a mountain somewhere in mountainland.
What Superman didn’t count on is that his super thoughts of cheesecake and whatnot would inexplicably mutate things in the forest below. Take for example, this poor deer fawn that grew a butterfly on his tail.
This alarmed the good Dr. Emmett Brown, who had been convalescing at a rustic cabin in the woods. It had been months since he had that dream about an epic battle between Muhammad Ali and Superman. He thought to himself: “Ali once said something about floating like a butterfly… so this fawn-butterfly mutation must be a dark omen! Great Scott! I’ve got to do something!!!”
Doc Brown pulled out the two most powerful tools in his science-powered arsenal: A Triple Threat Faceted Bangle from Kate Spade and an Ipod that contains the entire Dire Straits “Money For Nothing” track list and stuffed them into a haggis bag that he had brought with him from a recent time jump to Scotland. He wondered what else he needed, so he ran to the nearest convenience store located at the ground floor of Lexcorp. “Lexcorp? How convenient!” He thought. “They sell the best kind of…male whalefish!
But Doc needed something else. A conveyance was in order. He had given up his time-traveling DeLorean a few years back, trading it for a…car inspired by a story about “some sort of dark super-hero” he had never heard of. Brown jumps into the car, all his stuff in tow and drives at 300mph all the way to Taco Bell! Because in order to fight a dastardly mushroom cloud menace, one has to eat, he thought. Especially now that Taco Bell was using Doritos shells for its tacos.
But alas! He was out of luck for they were all sold out. So he hightailed it to… the village Tardis, eager to arrive a few seconds into the future in Manila, only to be faced by a colossal, green cucumber, held by the towering menace named Conan O’Brien.
They had been business partners once. It started out as a good idea, pairing carbon fiber prostheses with personalities, but the project became a nightmare after 30 victims of failed experiments were found in a ditch, with their faces blood red and hands attached to stainless steel furry handcuffs. It was a sight that was forever burned into his memory, and caused him many a sleepless night.
But Doc Emmett wouldn’t let this stop him. He was stronger than that. He had been trained by a blind kung fu master who during the day called himself Mr. Joe E. Martin, a boxing coach. Master “Po Joe” taught him how to be a kung fu and boxing legend.
But because of Emmett’s involvement with time travel he forgot his time with the master but not his training, because of the Microsoft Zune Tattoo on his left ass cheek. It had been tattooed on him after a drunken game of Yahtzee with some tribesmen in the mountains of Kootenai National Forest, which reminded him of an actual battle he had with Superman when they were still young.
This made Emmett realize that now he had to eat the haggis with the Dire Straits CD and the Kate Spade bracelet, and shout the magic words: “Klaatu Barada Nikto!”
Those words kept echoing through his science-addled brain. While he didn’t know what it truly meant, the rough translation was… “There’s hope for earth, if the scientists can be reached.” A line he actually sang to the tune of the chorus to Boyz 2 Men’s “End of the Road” that transformed him into Muhammad Ali, getting Superman’s attention from afar: “Ali! I am hungry, we must do the Dance of Joy!”
This was a curiously different tactic from Superman, who, in moments of extreme hunger, preferred to imagine himself as a glutton in order to test his powers of control, which pissed him off more because a battle was about to interrupt his cheesecake meal. So without warning, his super-fist opened to reveal magic glitter dust, which he then blew in Ali’s direction. Ali had to think quick, because none of his usual tricks could evade such a wide attack.
So he stood on his head and…multiplied himself to three, and within 2 seconds… a large group of Hipster Kittehs had gathered to watch the battle and… this made Superman take off his face to reveal his real identity, which was Super Cat Man: King of the Hipster Cats! “Let us not fight”, said he “for my people cannot stand violence, triple Ali.
Muhammad Ali was struck by what he saw and said “There can only be one King of the Hipster Cats, Super Cat Man, and it shall be ME!” Ali pulled out his Limited Edition Ben 10 Omnitrix, powered it up and in a magical flash of light, changed into Puncho The Kitty Champion, which made Super Cat Man laugh so hard.
“D’awwwww. Looks like that Omnitrix is… too limited.” But this was Ali’s secret weapon, because he knew that a cat’s cuteness could actually swing the loyalties of the Hipster Kittehs to his favor to form the fearsome kitty monster called Meowtron. And for the first time in his furry life, Super Cat Man was terrified. He needed a solution.
So he called upon Cathulu, the rule of the meowniverse. “STAND DOWN MEOWTRON. WHERE I SITS, PEACE WILL FITS. STOP THIS CAT-FIGHT AT ONCE.” He bellowed. “Puncho must not be harmed, and we must all band together for a greater conflict in the distance: the coming of the great Catnivorous Max.” There was a collective gasp amongst those present. The once great leader had gone insane and had resorted to feasting on the young and the innocent. Super Cat Man and Meowtron nodded in agreement.
There was a common foe, far more dangerous than Broccolio! The Anti-Bacon. Everyone agreed. So Ali and Superman sat down over cheezburgers and declared to the world, “WE HAZ NO BEEF AGAINST EACH ODR NO MORE.”
And they, along with the hipster kittehs looked to the west, where the X-Man known as Rogue had been flying around, doing forward reconnaissance. She had been secretly subcontracted by the Feline Nation because a new super-team was to be formed with Superman and Ali (who by this time transformed into Muhammad Blade: Boxing Vampire Hunter)!
The team shall be called: SCOOBY DOOGLE, named after a past foe that had become a great friend and idol. Because even though he was of the canine species, he always shared his Scooby Snacks.
Their spirits and confidence levels riding high, the super force entered their battle vehicles, which looked curiously like delicious breakfast favorites.
Written by Alan Navarra and Jason Drilon. This was a story created by using Pinterest. Just scroll towards the bottom and follow the numbers all the way back up. It is viewable at:
Thank you. :D
— Pepe Le Pew, Touche and Go 1957